Although it may sound like something to be ashamed of – more than 40% of all Americans have tried online dating services at least once during their lifetime. There are over 100 million combined active users on sites like eHarmony, Match.com, Bumble, Zoosk, Elite Singles, AdultFriendFinder, Lovestruck, ItsJustLunch, Hinge, Badoo, and Tinder.
With so much time that we spend interacting with people daily using our computers or phones to connect on social media like Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter, and Snapchat, we may just as well use online services to find a relationship, right? We have compiled a list of tips that we want to share with you so that your next online dating experience is a pleasant one.
Check Your Online Date
Below is a list of general things to keep in mind to avoid scams and potential risks while chatting on social media with unknown people or browsing online dating sites. If the person you are texting with has five or more ticks in this checklist, you may want to consider stopping all communication as most likely they are not who they say they are.
| ✓ Barely filled out profile | ✓ Raunchy and flirty pick-up lines |
| ✓ Recent date of registration | ✓ Expresses their strong feelings after a few messages |
| ✓ Closed or restricted profile | ✓ Message can be meant for anyone (too general) |
| ✓ Few photos and all look professional | ✓ Their story is inconsistent |
| ✓ Profile picture looks like a supermodel | ✓ Shows controlling behavior |
| ✓ They don’t pass the reverse image lookup test | ✓ Asks for money or help |
| ✓ Not many friends or subscribers | ✓ Lives somewhere far far away |
| ✓ All their interests and hobbies exactly match yours | ✓ Sends random links |
| ✓ Asks for info that is already on your profile | ✓ Requests personal information |
| ✓ Consistently messages you even if you don’t reply | ✓ Sends nude pictures straight away |
| ✓ Does not have other social media accounts | ✓ Asks for your nude pictures |
| ✓ Strange sounding name (i.e. Miss Honey Blessing) | ✓ Wants to meet right away |
| ✓ Nationality does not match level of grammar | ✓ Are afraid to Skype, Zoom, or FaceTime |
Pros and Cons of Online Dating
Ok, after reading the checklist above, you may want to ask yourself if there is even a point to go online for the search of a partner with so much scamming and “catfishing” around. In short – yes. What if all the thorns were removed from the garden – there are millions of eligible singles sincerely looking for something real – what if you could choose without risk? You just need to know what to look out for, and hopefully, our tips will help you. Below are some pros and cons of online dating.
Pros:
- Convenience – It’s hard to overstate how convenient it is to view potential partner profiles in the palm of your hand without having to physically go somewhere. You can browse online from almost anywhere and any time of the day too.
- Huge choice – There are thousands of new profiles created daily, and the number of users is only going to increase as the world population grows.
- Refined results – With most online services allowing you to choose characteristics you want in a potential partner, you can filter results to see the best match for your needs.
- Compatibility – A lot of services use profile questionnaires to ensure that you and your potential partners are matched based on compatibility, personality, and even zodiac signs.
- Global outreach – You are no longer limited to your workplace, neighborhood, or the local coffee shop. You can find your perfect partner in any corner of the world.
- Easy communication – We all know that starting a conversation may be hard in person, especially with someone we don’t know. It is much easier to make the first move online.
Cons:
- Fake information – We all know this one. Many users lie on their profiles or try to make a better impression of themselves. Male users most commonly lie about age and income, while female users lie about weight and physical appearance.
- Overwhelming choice – There are so many good profiles out there that you may just get stuck endlessly shopping for the perfect partner instead of focusing on the human aspect of the relationship.
- Good match on paper – Ok, so even though you have excellent astrological compatibility, there is always biological. There is no way to test if you will have that chemistry on your first date unless… well, unless you actually have that first date.
- The fine details – We’ve all heard that the devil is in the details, and when it comes to choosing a partner, that is absolutely true. The small things like her picking her nose or the smell of his shoes really can put a month-long online relationship to an end.
- Unclear intent – While this con is not necessarily applicable only to online dating, it most certainly is most commonly found online. Your intents of finding the love of your life may be crystal clear, but you never know who is on the other end of the profile and what exactly they want to achieve from your acquaintance.
- Unsafe encounters – In the worst-case scenario of all of the cases that we have covered above, you may expect lost time, money, or a broken heart. That is nothing compared to what could be the result of an encounter with a registered (or unregistered) offender using an online dating site to find their next victim.
10 Tips For First Dates
Great! So you’ve spent countless hours finding your perfect match online and narrowed down your search to someone whom you want to meet in person. Arm yourself with these ten tips for first dates to ensure your date is pleasant and safe.
1. Do Your Research
Get as much information about the potential date as possible. With enough data, you will be able to run a check on this person to get a report on their actual age, marital status, criminal history, sex offenses, financial data, workplace, salary, debt, and much more. This should be your dating 101 for avoiding unwanted, awkward, or downright dangerous encounters.
2. Video Chat
Before you go out and meet someone in person, you can significantly reduce risk and filter out unsuitable options by simply having a brief conversation with video. A surprise video call right before the meeting takes place is usually a great way to go (for example, to confirm the address, place, or that the clothes you are wearing are suitable).
3. Meet in a Public Place
Arrange a meeting in a public place with a lot of people surrounding you where you feel comfortable. Preferably choose a location close to your friends or family in case you sense danger or simply will need to “unexpectedly receive a phone call and urgently have to leave”.
4. Tell Someone Where You Are
Before you go ahead and meet with someone for the first time, make sure you tell a friend the time and place of where you will be meeting the potential significant other and the approximate time when you plan to contact your friend back. If something goes wrong, it will be much easier to locate your whereabouts based on the place and time you were last seen.
5. Script Your Conversation
This is a great way to prepare for the upcoming date. Write down a list of questions or topics that you want to discuss during your first date to find out better what type of person your companion is. This will help you overcome social anxiety, fill in awkward silences and keep you on the right track of the conversation. Just remember that this is not an interview and a slight deviation from the initial script is perfectly fine.
6. Keep Your Private Info Private
Ok, so you’ve done all of the above and have arrived at the meeting wearing your best shoes and perfume. As tempting as it may be to share information about yourself, make sure that you do not disclose too much personal data that may be used to stalk you. Things like workplace, home address, places you go to, information about your family should all be kept confidential until you get to know each other better.
7. Do Not Get Drunk
This is an easy one. Alcohol influences your ability to make weighed decisions and puts you in danger of being taken advantage of. The general rule of thumb is to stick to 1-2 drinks during your date. A big flag should be raised if your new acquaintance urges you to drink more and fast.
8. Go Home Alone
No matter how good you think your first date was and how much you want that first kiss on the doorstep, try to hold off until you get to know each other better. This generally would not impact your chances of getting a second date and will even play out in your favor as being seen as a person who makes weighed decisions and is looking for a serious relationship. If you don’t get the second date because your partner didn’t score on the first day and doesn’t want to waste his time getting to know you, do you even need a relationship like this?
9. Get a Taxi
Refuse politely if someone offers you to get into their car to give you a lift after your first date. In 2024 we have so many drivers nearby working for services like Uber and Lyft that it no longer makes sense to share rides home with other people. Just make sure that they don’t see that address that you are entering.
10. Analyze the Date
Ok, so you have arrived safely home from your first date. How did it go? Did the partner meet your expectations? How was your experience? How likely are you to meet again? Each date is a unique experience that allows you to learn from mistakes and improve your next meeting with a potential partner. Even if this was not the perfect date that you have imagined in your head, now is the best time to assess what could have been better or what type of person suits you best based on what you have experienced today. Just don’t forget to call your friend back and tell them that you are ok!
Conclusion
In the evolving world of online dating, where millions are looking for love, it’s important to stay smart and careful. Lots of people give it a try – more than 40% of Americans, in fact! But while there are plenty of genuine people looking for relationships, there are also not-so-good things out there related to online dating.
That’s where our checklist and tips come in handy! By keeping an eye out for these warning signs, you can protect yourself and have a better (and safer) online dating experience. From doing your homework before the date to making sure you’re not drinking too much and getting home safely, these tips will help you navigate the world of online dating with confidence.
So as you dive into the world of texts and swipes, remember to trust your gut and take care of yourself first. With a little knowledge and a lot of caution, you will be on your way to finding the relationship you’re looking for. Happy dating!
FAQ:
How many fake dating profiles are there?
It’s really hard to estimate the number of fake profiles out there due to the nature of fake profiles that mimic a real person. Additionally, each platform has their own policy as to what they deem as a “fake profile”. However, a study by GlobalWebIndex identified that around 10% of people who use online dating services have admitted to creating fake profiles or using someone else’s profile pictures. Tinder has also reported in 2019 that they were blocking approximately 1.5 million accounts every week for various policy violations, including fake profiles and misleading information.
What are the risks of going on a date with a person who has a fake profile?
Risks range from meeting a different person (people claiming to be who they are not – photos, age, occupation, height, weight, etc.) to catfishing, financial scams, and genuine safety concerns. Additionally, people who use fake profiles at the start will be impossible to build a sincere and honest connection with moving forward – this deception will lead to a lack of trust and may result in frequent lies about other topics in the future.
Is there a way to verify someone’s identity before a date?
Before meeting the person in real life, suggest a short video call. This will allow you to see the person and have a conversation in real-time to confirm their identity. You can also try background check services to get more information about the person you are speaking with (or the person that is being impersonated to call the bluff). While this may be a bit extreme for a first date, background checks can provide a peace of mind if you have concerns.
What should I do if I suspect that my online date is a scam?
The first thing that you should do is cease all communication immediately, there is no need to explain yourself to the other person. Do not respond to any incoming messages or calls from this person. Next, report their profile – most dating apps have a section to report suspicious or potentially harmful profiles that violate their policies and terms of use.
If you have shared any personal or financial information with a scammer then take steps to protect yourself from any potential losses – change passwords, enable multi-factor authentication on all devices, monitor your accounts and balance closely and seek advice from your bank or credit card company for additional guidance. Don’t forget to report to authorities by including all evidence if you have become a victim of a scam. This could include local law enforcement, consumer protection agencies, or online fraud reporting platforms.
Should I even try online dating if it’s so dangerous?
Many people have positive experiences with online dating that result in long-lasting and firm relationships. In fact, a lot of people met their future spouse and started a family by getting a match on Tinder!
Online dating offers unparalleled convenience when it comes to meeting new people and initiating a conversation. You too can enjoy the benefits of online dating while minimising the risks and negative aspects by educating yourself on potential scams, following best practices, and taking proactive measures to protect yourself such as verifying the identity of the date beforehand.
